You know that pair of jeans that sit in your closet and mock you? The ones that when you take them out and look at them, you just have a moment of “when the fuck was I EVER this size?” The ones that you really can’t get above your thighs anymore? I have several pairs of those. I remember they used to be my favorite jeans because they were so god damn comfortable. They’re size 13′s, from Charlotte Russe, so lord only knows what size that equates to in real-world sizing, because I know it’s juniors. I haven’t been able to wear these things in years. Honestly, I can’t remember when I actually could.. maybe right after high school, because I know I wore them to death. The bottoms are fringy where I stepped on them so much.

But anyway, they’ve been sitting there. Mocking me. I tried them on several months ago and it was probably the most pathetic thing my bedroom has ever witnessed. I tried the jumpy thing. I tried laying on the bed. I honestly tried everything except lubing myself up. No go. Could not get these fuckers above my thighs. Could barely get my legs in them.

Came home from the gym today, and after my shower I decided to try them again, fully expecting the same result. Fully expecting to feel like shit afterwards for being a fatass and gaining weight.

I got those mother fuckers ON. Technically. There was a lot of jumping. I had to lay on the bed to get them buttoned/zipped. And, let’s be honest, they didn’t fit by any stretch of the imagination. My ass wasn’t covered, I had rolls I didn’t have before. But you know what? I got them on. I got them buttoned and zipped and they were in the vicinity of my waist (as much as they ever were, since they’re those ridiculous low riders that was popular several years back).

It wasn’t pretty, and it reminded me of a girl I went to HS with that never wore jeans that fit, but I got the mother fuckers on. New goal, ladies and gents! To be able to wear them in public. Without a huge baggy shirt to hide the fact that they don’t fit. Wear those fuckers out with a tight fitting tshirt and some mother fuckin’ flip flops and we’ll be in business.

Then I’ll actually take my ass to the store and buy me some big girl jeans that actually fit. But! Accomplishment sorta unlocked. New goal made. Let’s get this mother fucker done.

So I compared pictures of me in the same undie/bra combo that I wore in a shot in feb 2012, and while I see changes, it’s not nearly as much as it should be. It pisses me off, with myself, that in over a year I didn’t achieve more. All because I was lazy, or didn’t feel like cooking so got pizza instead, or some other bullshit. It’s funny how I can go from feeling so awesome and confident in the changes I’ve made and the progress I’ve made, and then one little thing can make me go back to hating and nitpicking and staring at pictures looking and praying and hoping for one less roll, one less dimple.

It’s fucking ridiculous, and needs to stop. And while logically I can sit here and tell myself that, I know it won’t change how I actually feel. I dropped two pounds this week, I’m down to 180.4, so fucking close to 170s… and then yesterday we go to a city carnival and I eat a corndog, a cupcake, and dippin dots. Yup. Because that’ll get you where you want to be, Lacey. I preach eating clean, only eating for the body you want….. then I do that shit. ugh. I was going to go running last night, but I was so sleepy from walking around and stuff that I didn’t bother. I haven’t worked out since thursday, and I’m back to feeling shitty.

BUt on the bright side, I’ve decided I want a tan this year. We’re going to the beach for Fancy’s birthday the end of this month, so I bought some sunless tanner to help me get a quick start. I’ve never used such products, so I’m kind of terrified. It’s by Neutrogena, and usually their stuff works, so we’ll see. At least it smells really nice… somewhat beachy, which I’m sure is what they were going for. So we’ll see how that works.

Does anybody know if having the sunless tans help to prevent burning? Obvi you still need to use sunscreen, but since you’re technically darker does it help? Or where it’s fake does the sun just laugh and say fuck you? Guess we’ll find out either way.

I really like the bathing suit I got, though. Fancy swears up and down that I look find in it, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can trust him. He promises he doesn’t just give me lip service, but I just can’t picture any sane male going “Oh, yes, you do look like a beached whale in that” you know?

I took these this morning, planning on taking them again when we get to the beach (May 24-28) to see if I progressed any. Thoughts? I really like the color. The top came with straps, and I imagine i’ll have to put those one… waves and all that.

Fancy makes me make funny faces when he takes pictures for me.

The bottoms fit everywhere fine except the sides. The material is like, this tabby type stuff that sinks into my hips a bit, so creates more rolls than I actually have… but if I went up a size, I think the butt would be too big.

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?
Usually open, the cats freak out when any door is shut.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?
If they’re nice I will

Where is your next vacation?
Ocean City! Cannot waittttt

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No, that’s stupid.

Who do you think reads these?
There’s a few that glance at them.

Do you have a calendar in your room?
No

Where are you?
The office of my apartment

What’s your plan for the day?
I need to do laundry, and probably should pick up a few things from the store, but I’m not sure if it’s going to happen.

Are you reading any books right now?
A book about nutrition that my trainer gave me, I think it’s called Eat to Live or something.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
If I’m really nervous about something I will.

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
Occasionally!

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Yeah, I do it all the time at work and i know it’s gross but I can’t help it. Sorry, coworkers.

What is your “Song of the Week”?
I’ve been listening to the new Fall Out Boy cd pretty much nonstop, because I’m a dork.

Do you still watch cartoons?
Yeah

What’s your favorite love movie?
I’m not sure if I have one. They all kind of piss me off to a point.

What do you drink with dinner?
Usually water, occasionally pop

What do you dip Chicken nuggets in?
Ketchup or ranch

What is your favorite food/cuisine?
I can eat pizza every. single. day.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Boondock Saints, Spirited Away, V for Vendetta, 10 Things I hate about you, the fast and furious movies, etcetc

Last person you hugged/kissed?
Uhhhh, Fancy

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Negative

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Sure, if they’re going to pay me enough

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I really have no idea.

Can you change the oil on a car?
I can drive it to Jiffy Lube…

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yessssssssssss, ugh.

Run out of gas?
No

Best thing to eat for breakfast?
My favorite right now is scrambled eggs with spinach and mushrooms with a piece of wheat bread with peanut butter on it and blueberries on top.

What is your usual bedtime?
9-10ish

Are you lazy?
About certain things

Do you live within 30 miles of where you were born?
Negative. About 7 hours away.

Are you older than your best friend?
No, I’m younger

What’s something you are good at cooking?
Stuff, I guess. I’m told I am.

What is the name and artist/band of the last song you listen to?
I’ve been listening the hell out of FOB’s new album

Look to your right. What is the thing that catches your attention the most?
The cat

What do you usually grab when you have a sweet tooth?
Too much

What kinds of things make you laugh?
Stuff. I don’t know. I’m not in the mood.

Were you ever bullied as a child?
Yes, I got over it.

What were you doing before you answered this survey?
Changing clothes

What were you doing at midday today?
Working

What hair style do you have atm? Are you happy with it?
it’s in a pony tail. it needs cut.

Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yes

Tell me about your last birthday, What presents did you get? Did you do anything special to celebrate?
I got money…. fancy had an edible arrangement delivered to work (i told him to), then we went to dinner at pf changs then went out for drinks with a few friends. It was okay. I got cake at work.

Has your best friend ever made you cry?
Yes

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought recently?
A wedding dress. The style is Anjolique 930 if anybody wants to google it

Have you ever entered a talent competition?
No

Is there anything you dislike about your appearance?
Ha

Are you indecisive?
I guess so?

What colour is your best friend’s hair?
Brown

Do you still talk to the person you liked 6 months ago?
Yes

Has anyone ever talked you into doing something you didn’t want to do?
Yes

Do you have any favorite jewelry that you always wear?
Panda necklace, engagement ring

Are you smiling in your facebook profile picture?
I don’t remember

Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections?
Depends on the mood I’m in.

Think of the last person of the opposite sex that you had a conversation with. Do you find them attractive?
Yeah

Who will you be spending the weekend with?
Well, I thought we were going to VT’s spring game, but apparently not. So I’ll just be at the gym.

What colour is your hair dryer?
We have two, a red/black one and a green/grey one

How long do you feel you can stay single after a relationship ends, before you feel ready to be with someone else?
Whatever.

Who would you say influences your musical taste the most, friends or family?
Neither

Does it irritate you when people go on and on about how amazing their boyfriend/girlfriend is?
Whatever

Are you ill right now?
I guess so. I’m in a shit mood (I’m hoping terrible chinese food solves this), and my hip is killing me.

List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently.
I don’t feel like playing that game

Do you follow rules or break them?
Usually follow

Are you currently looking forward to anything?
I think we’re honeymooning in St. Lucia…. so that, if it happens

Could you go a day without eating?
Yes

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
I don’t own bracelets

What are you doing right now, besides this?
Nothing

When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over?
Depends if I like it or not.

Do you scream stuff out the car window?
no

You’re single, right?
No

How’s that going for you?
Well, most of the time

Has anyone laid on your bed besides you?
Yes

Who’s the first person you spoke to in 2012?
uh

Do you prefer being called your actual name or a nick name?
My name.

Do you ever want to get married?
Yes

Is there someone who makes you blush when you just say hi to them?
No, I’m not five.

How was your Saturday night?
Pretty good.

Do you wish your first kiss was with someone else? Why?
Nah

Three things you want to say to three different people.
1. I’m
2. too
3. tired to think of this shit

Something that not a lot of people know about you.
I tend to wake up in a really good mood 99% of the time.

Think of the last person you stopped being friends with. What happened?
They suck?

So, I’ve been taking boxing lessons. They suck. In a good way, of course. I’ve never been so fucking sore in my life! It’s ridiculous. I also feel very, very, very awkward doing uppercuts. I’m convinced I look retarded and he’s not correcting me simply because I look ridiculous.

I started running. The last time I tried to do a mile, my time was 18 minutes. The past couple days it’s been around 14:44 or 15 minutes. I’m pretty proud of myself! So I sent a picture of the treadmill to my trainer…. who responded with “Great work! Now go to 2.5 mi and send me a picture when you’re done”….motherfucker. I got the 2.5 in in around 37 minutes and some odd seconds. I felt like fucking death afterwards though. But it’s coming along!

The family is coming up this weekend to go wedding dress shopping! I think we’re also going to go look at bridesmaids dresses while they’re up here, so it should be a super fun/exciting/stressful weekend. Especially since watching how I eat around them is going to be miserable. But I’ll manage! I’m not sure if I’ll get to actually buy a dress if I find “the one” this weekend though. I have the money saved, but Fancy says we should probably wait to buy anything until we know what he’s doing job wise, but ugh, I don’t know. If I find something I know I’ll want to buy it! I’m terrible.

Not a lot has been going on other than that…. I’m pretty boring I guess!

I feel like I’m by myself a lot, which is strange considering I live with Fancy and work in a job where I’m always with people. But I guess being around people isn’t the same as being WITH people, if that makes sense? I have friends, I regularly see our trainer, and you know, LIVING WITH FANCY, but I just feel alone. Sometimes it’s not as bad as others, and it’s okay! And everybody is in a good mood and it’s fantastic. Then it’s not anymore, and I spend my evenings staring at my phone, or at the computer screen, or a book. Basically just busy work with myself. Fancy’s conversations tend to be huge loops, ones we’ve already had a million times and the answers rarely change. I don’t know. It’s not always like that, but a good majority of the time. It makes me wonder if I’m going to end up like my mother, sad and alone. The only people she ever really had were her daughters, and even we left her in the end. I guess that’s why she’s becoming a crazy cat lady. I worry about her a lot. We’re going to be learning boxing/kickboxing with the trainer now. I’m kind of excited. I hope we get to stay in the area long enough to learn some things. Fancy has an interview in northern ohio this weekend, and we think they’re going to offer him the job. Depending on the money, we may have to go. I don’t want to move and I do all at the same time. I like it here, I have friends, and I like trainer. But I also don’t like it here. I’m away from my family, I miss them. I feel like maybe if we moved, we’d get a new chance at different things, get to reinvent ourselves again. People can be reborn a lot, I think that’s the good thing about being human. You can change yourself. It’s really just a matter of if you want to. It’s nights like this I almost feel like I could throw myself into a panic attack over small things. But they build up, you know? I’ve ate way too much tonight, and I feel sick. Both physically and mentally.  I really need to work on that. I need to work on a lot of things. My enter bar does work, just so you know. I just don’t feel like it fits. I don’t think my jumbled mess deserves paragraphs. It’s really not. It’s a stream of consciousness that doesn’t get a break. No pauses, no spaces. It kind of just is. I’m just so tired. So tired of taking care of everybody else. I wish somebody would take care of me for once.

1. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?

Open, if I shut it the cats will just open it anyway

1. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Rarely

1. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room?

Yes. ‘done it’, lord that bodes well for this one.

1. Where is your next vacation?

Fuck if I know. I’m an adult with bills and shit.

1. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

No. I also just realized I’m totally fucking with the numbering of this.

1. Who do you think reads these?

Not many

1. Do you have a calendar in your room?

No

1. Where are you?

The office in the apartment

1. What’s your plan for the day?

Well, it’s a friday night. I’m going to do something wild and crazy! Or sit in here and listen to basketball and play with xanga surveys.

1. Are you reading any books right now?

I have both The Hobbit and Ender’s Game half read

1. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

Only when nervous

1. Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yup

1. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

Yeah

1. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

Yes, because I’m disgusting

1. What is your “Song of the Week”?

Er….

1. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Yes

1. Do you still watch cartoons?

Yes

1. Whats your favorite love movie?

Love movie? What the fuck is a love movie? A rom com? A porn? What?

1. What do you drink with dinner?

Tonight was diet pepsi, it’s usually water or gatorade though

1. What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?

Ketchup

1. What is your favorite food/cuisine?

The type that goes into my tummy

1. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Mostly disney movies

1. Last person you hugged/kissed?

Fancy

1. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Negative

1. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

Yes

1. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Uh

1. Can you change the oil on a car?

No.

1. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Yes

1. Run out of gas?

No. This is boring

1. Favorite kind of sandwich?

I’m on a no dry carb thing, so thanks for reminding me of bread.

1. Best thing to eat for breakfast?

I usually have a protein bar and an apple, or some almonds.

1. What is your usual bedtime?

9, because I’m old

1. Are you lazy?

Yes

1. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

a clown, a sheriff, a bee, a pumpkin, a fairy….

1. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Clean Eating, Fitness, Bon Appetit

1. Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?

Legos, I’m not smart enough to work lincoln logs

1. Are you stubborn?

Very

1. Who is better…Leno or Letterman?

Ferguson

1. Ever watch soap operas?

Yes

1. Afraid of heights?

No

1. Sing in the car?

Yes. Bored.

1. Dance in the shower?

This leads to slipping and falling and busting your head open and dying.

1. Dance in the car?

Crashing, dying, etcetc

1. Ever used a gun?

No

1. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

They are awesome

1. Is Christmas stressful?

Only if you make it stressful

1. Ever eat a pierogi?

Omnomnom

1. Major annoyance right now?

This survey, but I’m too invested to stop now.

1. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

A vet, a horse rancher (yes), a ballerina

1. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure

1. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

Yes

1. Do you take a vitamin daily?

No

1. Wear slippers?

No

1. Wear a bath robe?

No

1. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing, usually

1. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?

Target

1. Nike or Adidas?

Nike

1. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Gross

1. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Almonds

1. Ever hear of, “gorp”?

No. Do I want to?

1. Ever taken karate?

Negative

1. Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes

1. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

1. Ever won a spelling bee?

No

1. Ever cried because you were so happy?

No, I cry when I’m mad though

1. Own any record albums?

Yes

1. Own a record player?

No

1. Regularly burn incense?

No, it gives me a headache

1. Ever been in love?

Nah, never

1. Hot tea or cold tea:

No tea

1. Tea or coffee?

No

1. Favorite kind of cookie?

White macadamia

1. Can you swim well?

Not really

1. Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?

Yes

1. Are you patient?

No

1. Ever won a contest?

Yes

1. Ever had plastic surgery?

No

1. Which are better black or green olives?

Black

1. Can you knit or crochet?

No

1. Wash room or bathroom?

Bathroom

1. Do you want to get married?

Nah

1. Who was your High School crush?

Ha

1. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

Sometimes

1. Do you have kids?

Fuck no

1. Do you want kids?

Fuck no

1. What kind of mom are you?

The terrible kind

1. Do you miss anyone right now?

No. I lied. Kind of

1. Who do you want to see right now?

Your mom.

This next set was titled “Deep questions”. We will see!

• 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Both. I don’t do so hot with the whole emotion thing.

• 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I don’t tend to waste that much energy on things.

• 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

Fancy, to get a really good lawyer cause this shit is done fucked. Also that I love him, and to tell people I died heroically. Also to update my facebook and twitter to let people know. I want to be mourned by all.

• 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

Yes, I tell the whole fucking world. I’d be scared shitless, and people who say they wouldn’t be are liars. I’d probably spend the rest of my days with family and friends, and my cats.

• 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

Trust, because a form of love usually comes with that.

• 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

Fuck my boss, save the puppy!

• 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

The two go hand in hand so this question is moot.

• 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

Well, I’m marrying my best friend. But assuming it’s another one, I hope it’s one of my cute friends.

• 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

No, because I’m a terrible selfish person.

• 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Probably, most days.

• 11. Does love = sex?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ha ha ha ohhh, that’s cute.

• 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

No, because I’m a terrible selfish person.

• 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Probably fancy, and I really don’t remember.

• 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I don’t love them back

• 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

Probably Fancy, cause I love him and shit

• 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

Probably D, and she’s my bff.

• 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

My dumb eating habits.

• 18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Fancy.

• 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

No, because I don’t know CPR

• 21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

Grandma, because she’s probably a zombie since both mine are dead.

• 22. Are you old fashioned?

Occasionally.

• 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

I do this at work.

• 24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Fuck these questions, jesus. Can’t you come up with something better? There’s no such thing as true love, people.

• 25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

That I win the lottery?

• What eye color do you find sexiest?

Green

• 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

I don’t like mocha

• 3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

Why the fuck?

• 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

Small town, and it was okay.

• 5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

My sister

• 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

None, i’m stuffed.

• 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

I threw up at recess once.

• 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

I don’t know, the whole time?

• 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

That whole terrible bang thing?

• 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?

Scurvy v. imaginary.

• 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

No. I once tried and got stuck.

• 12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

FUCK YES

• 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

A unicorn.

• 14: What’s your most favorite part of your body?

My ass and nose.

• 15: What’s your most favorite part of your personality?

My charm and wit?

• 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?

Buh

• 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

Yes

• 18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

Probably

• 19: What’s the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten in your life?

The type that goes into mah belleh

• 20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

Grew up with margarine thinking it was butter, because my mom used the two interchangeably.

• 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)

2%

• 22: Which continents have you been on?

Just NA

• 23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

Nope

• 24: Backpacks or satchels?

Backpack

• 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

No.

• 26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

There are waaaaay too many.

• 27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

Cow, omnomnom beef.

• 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Um.

• 29: Longest plane ride you’ve ever been on?

Atlanta to Cincy

• 30: The latest you’ve ever slept?

I don’t know, noon?

• 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

Fuck yeah

• 32: Do you pick at scabs?

Yes

• 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

I can’t say I have a favorite

• 34: How far can you throw a baseball?

Not very

• 35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

Europe

• 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

Korean, and omnom

• 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

Public, cause I’m a whore.

• 38: A relationship with love or one with sex?

Love

• 39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

Yes

• 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

Yes

• 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

Depends, am I someplace I won’t be seen by others?

• 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?

Yes

• 43: Coolest thing you’ve ever been for Halloween?

Uh

• 44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

Red

• 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?

Married yes, kids no

• 46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

I do, thanks for being an elitist prick.

• 47: City or nature person?

Both

• 48: Have you ever used something other than “makeup” as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

No

• 49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you’re a guy?

Eh

• 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

Fuck you

What do you do for work, and what would you ideally like to do for work?
You know when you go to your doctors office, the girl that checks you in? And then checks you out? And makes your follow up appointments? and explains the procedure (which she’s not supposed to do) because the MA’s in the back didn’t (they are supposed to do this)? And ends up doing most of her bosses work because she works for a lazy cunt face bitch? And takes the heat for all the front desk girls even if she herself didn’t do anything wrong? And has to take care of the doctors (which their secretaries are supposed to do)?

That’s me.

What is the meaning of your life? What is it that you really live for?
Don’t die. If you have to, leave it better than when you found it.

What is the most awful thing about the world today?
You

Have you ever been in court? If so, in which role?
I used to work for an attorney, so yes

What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world?
Our own stupidity

What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this?
Homemaker, because she has severe social anxiety and forgets her own name when people ask her.

What about your father? What does he do?
He does repairs on the machines at General Mills

If you drink, what’s your favorite alcoholic drink? If you don’t, what is your favorite soft drink?
Drinking for the funsies: Riesling. Drinking to get drunk: Bourbon, neat.

Do you smoke? If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger?
No

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18?
Yeah

Do you have siblings? If so, how big an age gap is between you and your siblings?
4 older sisters, and a huge gap

What do you think about growing up?
It fucking sucks

Do you know how to cook? If so, what’s your favorite thing to cook?
Yes. I’m big on korean right now.

What about baking?
I suck at baking

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around?
I’m doing a low carb thing now. It’s working. I just hate life

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place?
Depends on my mood.

What’s your dream vehicle?
I’m lame, but I’ve always wanted an Eclipse.

What is the biggest dream of your life?
Don’t die

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go?
Ireland

What is a country you’d never ever visit?
Texas

Are you good at taking care of your finances?
More or less I guess.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills?
No

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it?
Make a dentist/pcp appointments, make an appointment with the dress shop.

Do you think life should just hand things to you?
That would be nice.

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? If so, what kinds of questions?
I just put bullshit answers if they annoy me

If you have an iPhone, why?
Yes, because I’m a pathetic sheep.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan?
yes

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life?
No.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers?
Some more than others

Have you had/do you have any pets?
Yep, my kitties are the best.

I promise I’ll make fun of at least several of these questions. It’s inevitable, really.

0025 – random
@yeahsurveysyeah <- keep the tag please

how often do you go grocery shopping?
Depends, usually once a week or so

where is your dad right now?
I don’t know

do you own a wii? if so, what are your favorite games?
I do, and probably some of the old mario games.

how many working computers/laptops are in your house?
2 desktops and 2 laptops. One of the laptops is for Fancy’s work though.

who did you text last?
Uhhh, Trainer I think

which site do you prefer more – twitter, tumblr, or facebook?
Tumblr for fitness motivation, facebook for creeping on people

did you play pacman when you were little?
Yeah.

would you rather go para-sailing or skydiving?
Parasailing!

how many times a day do you talk to your siblings? (if you have them)
During the work week, I email with two of them. Other than that, not much.

do you find justin bieber attractive? what about the boys from one direction?
I’m an adult.

what song has been on replay recently?
Nothing, really.

do you have an ipod? if so, what size is it? (8gb, 16gb, etc.)
I have an iphone, it’s pretty much the same thing. And 16, I think.

if you had to choose, would you rather relive last month or this month?
This month

have you ever grown vegetables/fruits in your garden?
I did when I still lived at moms. I don’t have the space for it here.

what are some names you would never name your child?
I don’t want children, but: Zoey Anne, Kaylee, Vincent, Xavier, Christoper, Penelope.

when was the last time you started a project, but didn’t finish it?
All the time?

are your nails painted right now?
My two big toes still have polish on them, but that’s it.

would you rather have a touchscreen keyboard on your phone, or a slide-out keyboard?
Touch screen

who’s house (besides yours) were you at last?
Uhhhhhhhhhhh, I really don’t remember. I think my moms though? During christmas?

do you know someone who has self-harmed? 
Yup

when was the last time you had one of those days where everything just pissed you off?
I work with the public. Every day?

is there a musical instrument in the room you’re in right now?
No, unless you count a cat.

ONE – Sex
 
 1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
Yes

2. Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?
Plastic chair thing? 

3. Favorite position?
The one where I’m getting some?

4. Enjoy getting and/or giving oral?
Both, though I’m more of a giver.
 
5. How about anal?
Been there, done that, not a fan.
 
6. Do you watch pornography?
Occasionally. Though we tend to watch it for the lols. People really shouldn’t be allowed to talk in porn. And guys should FUCKING TAKE THEIR SHIRTS OFF!  How fucking distracting is that? You’re completely naked but your shirt and you keep lifting it up. Dude. Take it off.
 
7. Do you find it awkward to talk about sex?
No
 
TWO – Work & Education
 
1. Did you attend college? Where?
No, though I should.

2. Where do you work?
Hopkins, we pretend to be fancy.
 
3. Does your job have to do with what you studied in college?
No
 
4. What was your favorite job?
I think the one I have now, though it’s all a toss up.
 
5. Do you plan on going back to college for anything?
I should.
 
6. What job would you never want to have?
Anything involving the public.
 
7. What subjects did you/do you wish to learn the most about?
eh
 
THREE – Family
 
1. Are your parents still alive? Close with them?
Yes
 
2. Are you close with any other family?
Yes
 
3. How about nieces/nephews?
Yes
 
4. Do you have any kids of your own? Names?
No, I have cats.
 
5. Do you live near your family?
No, I’m about seven hours away.
 
6. Do you have pets you consider family?
Yes
 
7. How often do you depend on your family to help you out?
Never. I depend on myself.
 
FOUR – Relationships
 
1. Are you in a serious relationship? (if not skip)
Yes.
 
2. Are you married or plan on marrying this person?
January.
 
3. What are some fun things recently you and this person have done?
We went book shopping yesterday!
 
4. Would you/have you had children with this person?
No, but not because of him. I just don’t want them.
 
5. Have you traveled anywhere with them?
Yes
 
6. What is the last gift they gave you?
Uhh
 
7. Do the two of you go out often?
Sometimes
 
FIVE – Drugs
 
1. Did you ever do drugs in your younger years?
No
 
2. Which ones?
No
 
3. How long did you do them?
Sigh
 
4. Do you think adults should do drugs?
…..
 
5. Did you ever have a bad experience on drugs?
/
 
6. What would you do if you caught your kids doing drugs?
/
 
7. Do many people you know do drugs?
I love how they think drugs are really the big bad.

 
SIX – Rock N Roll
 
1. Have you ever attended any concerts?
Yes
 
2. Has your music taste changed as you’ve gotten older?
Kinda
 
3. What era of music did you grow up with? Did you like it?
90s country/pop
 
4. Do you and your parents have similar music tastes?
There’s some overlap.
 
5. What song is stuck in your head?
Negative
 
6. Do you ever go out dancing?
No
 
7. Is the music you like ever played on the radio, or is it too old?
Yes
 
SEVEN – Opinions
 
1. What do you think about tattoos and piercings?
Whatever, it’s your skin.
 
2. The school systems?
They’re shit for the most part.
 
3. Young kids dating?
I HATE when parents of toddlers/elementary school kids are all “aww, so and so are dating!” no they’re fucking not. They don’t even know what that means.

4. The environment?
We suck at it.
 
5. Politics?
Everybody is stupid, no matter what side you’re on. Some sides just have more stupids than the other. Depends on the day, really.
 
6. Television and celebrities?
Oh gee willickers! I love them celebrities! I want to be just like them when I grow up!
 
7. Smoking cigarettes?
What the fuck ever.

When’s the last time you toked up?
I never have, believe it or not.

Doing anything tonight?
I need to do laundry and clean… I’m pretty boring.

Do you have any plans for the future set in stone?
That whole wedding thing, but that’s kind of a minor detail.

Would you ever dye your hair a really bright color?
I’ve always wanted to go purple… but I’m adult with a job and buh.

How old were you when you first got a bra?
Uhh…. 5-6th grade?  I really don’t remember.

Is there a movie you could watch over and over again and never get tired of it?
Several.

Do / have you ever watched a soap opera(s)?
I was a big Passions fan, back in the day.

^If yes, what’s your favorite one?
Sorry for answering your question too soon.

How would you like to be proposed to?
Well, since I have been, I’ll just tell you how it went down: We went to Ocean City for a long weekend (my first time at the beach since I was like, ten), and I really wanted to do the “wild and crazy” sex outside thing, and we had this huge balcony, so why not? So I go outside, just in my little robe thing, he follows, we’re laying on the recline-y chair together snugglin’ and smoochin’ and then he goes “So, obviously it wouldn’t happen, but I had a plan on how to get out of an issue with the cops if we were caught.”
Me: “ohhhh?” I knew this was coming, of course, because he’s terrible at hiding secrets.
Fancy: “Yeah, I figured I’d just tell them that I was proposing… but of course, I’d have to actually have a ring and stuff… and you know, actually do it. So, Lacey, will you marry me?”

And then we commenced the hump humps, but the problem being my white ass decided to not put sunscreen on as soon as we got there so I had like, 90 degree burns… and a terry robe… and a plastic chair… and well, it just wasn’t as great as we thought it’d be. But the thought was there!

When you were little, did you ever put those things in the bathtub that make the water change color?
No, but I did have the pills that became like, dinosaurs and shit.

Do you like mac and cheese?
blue box is the best!

Do you have any huuuugeeeeee sunglasses?
I had borderline huge ones once.

Have you ever thought you were going to be famous?
Nope.

What do you like about being single?
I don’t have to deal with anybody else, but I like my boy, so.

What did you do on 4 / 20?
nothing

Do you even smoke weed?
Negative

What about drink?
Occasionally

^If yes, what’s your favorite alcoholic drink?
If I’m drinking to get  drunk: Whiskey/bourbon/shots
If I’m drinking just socially: White wine

Are you allergic to anything that can get really serious if you eat / touch it?
I’m allergic to bee stings!

Would you ever get a bikini wax?
I’ve always thought about it… but then I figure I’m a big baby so I just stick with shaving.

Do you have any piercings?
Negative

What do you think about girls that tell everyone who they’ve fucked?
I figure if you have to play that game, you have something that you’re lacking elsewhere in your life. But if we just wanna swap stories because we’re bored, sure, why not!

Do you ever do your homework?
I’m not in school, so.

Have you ever asked your parents for advice?
I used to… not so much anymore.

^About what?
Uh

Would you rather eat fish or have them as a pet?
Eat them, I tend to kill them as pets

Do you bite your nails?
Ugh, yes

What’s a nervous habit of yours that you can’t help?
Biting my nails, eating.

Do you like giving speeches? Or do they bother you?
Ugh, fuck that noise.

Do you feel like people don’t understand you?
No, I’m pretty simple/straight forward.

Would you rather wear earrings or necklaces?
Necklaces

Have you ever made your mom cry?
Yeah

Do you ever order pizza?
Way more than I should.

1.if you lived in a fishbowl would you rather have a pirate ship or a castle and why?
Can’t I have both?

2.which 3 things would you have to have if you were shipwrecked on a remote island?
A satellite phone to get a call out to save my ass, a back-up boat, and sunscreen.

3.if you could kill anyone you want with no consequences who would it be and why?
I don’t hate anybody that much. It takes way too much effort.

4.the world is ending. why are you doing this survey. no really, what would you do on this your last night of living?
Probably have a TON of sex with the boy. Then just lay in bed and hug each other and probably cry a lot?

5.you have been chosen to repopulate the planet, pick 5 of your friends and why?
I’m sorry, if I have been chosen to repopulate…. we’re just gonna be screwed because no thank you.

6.how many days do you let your dirty dishes sit in the sink?
Thankfully I have a dishwasher… but I did just let my lasagna pan “soak” for 3 days.

7. $10,000 for 10,000 days without alcohol. yes or no.
Sure

8.so the verdict is in. would you spend a night with michael at the neverland ranch?
Old survey is old. But I’m fairly certain I was a: too old for him, and b: the wrong sex, so why not?

9.you’ve had a temporary sex change, and are very well endowed, what do you do for the one day you’re the opposite sex?
I like S’s answer to this: Fuck a ton of gorgeous women and jerk it all day.

10.would you rather be a passenger on the titanic or the hindenburg and why?
I think the Hindenburg I’d have a better chance of dying instantaneously, right?

11.youve just been diagnosed with a mental illness, what is it?
Can we go with an old fashioned hysteria?

12. you are a newly turned vampire and you have to feed, you’re in a room with your mother, significant other and your best friend, who gets sucked dry?
I take a little from all of them so I don’t have to kill anybody?

13.if you could have lived as any dead rock star who would it be and why?
I’d rather not have a ton of STDs and drug addictions, thanks.

When you woke up this morning, was there a song stuck in your head?
I didn’t have one, for once.

Are you friends with your best friends ex?
I don’t even know who my best friends ex is

Are you listening to music right now?
Negative, unless you count the cat playing with a bag and Fancy almost snoring in the next room as music.

Who did you last lay with?
Fancy

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Warm

Do you plan on moving out in the next year?
We keep talking about it, but who knows

Any plans for tomorrow?
Work.

Would you ever date someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited attitude?
Probably, at least for a little bit

What color are your shorts?
I’m not wearing any

Will this weekend be a good one?
Well, this current weekend is over and I don’t know what we’re doing next weekend, so

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Fuck if I know.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Nah

Do you believe once a cheater, always a cheater?
No

Do you ever leave the bathroom door open when using the toilet?
Yeah

Can you remember song lyrics easily?
Ehhhhhhh, depends

Are you on birth control?
Fuck yes, viva la bc

Do you tend to get really bitchy before/during/after your period?
I just get really sad and cry a lot.

Do you have back dimples?
I don’t think so….

How about dimples when you smile?
Negative

When’s the last time you did the dishes?
I just finished washing some

How many surveys have you taken on xanga?
Ha.

What is the song you want played at your funeral?
I want an awesome Irish Wake, where people get drunk and have fun and remember the good times.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Oh man… probably cold pizza, cool ranch doritos, and a diet pepsi. Lame, but omnom.

The Beatles or The Stones?
…the who.

The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
The good thing about moving away from everybody is that I got to carefully pick my friends when I started meeting people. Thankfully, I don’t hear anybodys problems that I don’t actually care about.

Do you secretly hate some of your friends but are too nice to reject them?
Nah

Favorite hangover cure?
Purple gatorade.

How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Depends on what I’m drinking and what we consider drunk. That warm tingly feeling? 3-4 glasses of wine. Black out drunk? Half a bottle of Crown Royal.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
I’m not in one!

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Checked phone stuff.

Do you care of what people think of you?
Yeup

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Uhhhhh, Dani? Fancy? One of the two.

Last person you went to the movies with?
Fancy

What are you looking forward to right now?
I’m going to borrow Fancy’s evolved swinub to beat the last gym leader in soulsilver! I’m a bad person and cheat.

Does your crush like you back?
I hope so

How many people have you liked in the past 8 months?
Well, technically speaking, I LIKE lots of people.

What did you do today?
So far I’ve rolled around in bed, stickied some recipes in a new cookbook I picked up yesterday, browsed reddit, and washed dishes.

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
Getting ready for bed?

Have you ever been to a tanning bed?
Yeah, I’m not a fan

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
I’m awkward on a daily basis, so sure?

Where do you wish you were right now?
I wish we would have won the lottery last night. I’d be on my way to hang with the family for a while before Fancy and I spent some time island hopping in the Caribbean.

Does anyone hate you for no reason?
I don’t really care.

Have you ever kissed someone who’s name starts with the letter C?
No

Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it back?
Probably

Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Yeup

What’s the last thing you said to someone & to who?
I vaguely remember waking up after not knowing I fell asleep, Fancy telling me I dozed off, me arguing this fact, then going back to sleep.

Name something you are doing tomorrow?
Working.

What cd is currently in your CD player?
Hell if I know.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Chocolate

Can you whistle?
Barely.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Nah

Do you sleep on your stomach?
Yup

What are you listening to?
Negative

What’s bothering you right now?
I completely cheated on my whole “no dry carbs” rule that my trainer gave me and I kind of feel terrible about it, and about the fact that I’m incapable of doing things the way I should and I have no willpower (or I secretly don’t care?) and how I’ll never be fit/skinny/whatever and I’ll always be a fatass with jiggly bits and I’ll never be the super hotty I know I could be if I just fucking worked out more and stopped eating like a pig.

What are you wearing?
Nothing

What did you dream about last night?
I really don’t remember.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
No, and if it does it’s always on vibrate so I wouldn’t know

What gets in your way of your sleeping?
Not much

Do you know anyone who’s married?
Yeah

Whats your favorite number?
9/19/25

Who was the last person that made you cry?
Myself? Fancy?

Where are you going to be at 4pm tomorrow?
Coming home from work

Are you jealous of anyone?
People who have more self control than I do

Are you ticklish?
Positive

Who did you last share a bed with?
Fancy

Do you like coffee?
No

Are you missing anyone?
The fam

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret?
Money, for sure

Do you have a deep dark secret?
Nothing too notable.

What was the last thing you got grounded for?
Uh

What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
It was never anything specific, just SOMETHING

Is there anybody you would push off the planet?
Eh

Do you crack your knuckles?
Yeah, and my back, and my neck, and…

Favorite color?
Purple

In the past five days, what would you go back and change?
Food

Have you ever been on a blind date?
Yeah

Do you have a strong relationship with your parents?
Kinda

By what age would you like to be married?
Well, I’ll be married a week before I turn 25, so

1. What’s the last thing you and your sibling laughed about?:
My sister sent an email to her whole department telling them that her bosses mom had to be kept in the hospital. Only instead of “Keeping her in the hospital” she wrote “Killing her in the hospital”. She sent it before realizing the typo. I had a good chuckle about it.

2. What’s the last thing you took a picture of?:
My cat

3. When are you getting your next new phone?:
Who knows

4. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Korean writing?:
Kind of? Koren tends to be more straight lines and circles, right? And chinese is more flowy?

5. What was the last song you listened to about?:
I don’t remember

6. When’s the last time you cleaned out your keyboard?:
Uh….

7. Do you listen to classical music?:
Occasionally. Sometimes I like to be classy and have a night where I listen to classical music, drink wine, and read.

8. Why did you buy the last CD you bought?:
Well… I bought an album on itunes, that’s about as close as I get to buying CDs anymore. It was The Spill Canvas’s last album… I’m not a big fan of it.

9. What did you do for your last science fair?:
Something lame like, which cookie tastes the best. I always half assed science fairs.

10. If you’ve seen “A Clockwork Orange”, would you volunteer for that “cure” after you saw what happened to Alex?:
I’ve seen bits and pieces.

11. Do you like DIY things?:
Yessss

12. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not?:
No

13. Are you due for a haircut?:
Yeah, I’m just too lazy to go get it done

14. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now?:
Nah

15. Do your parents like the music you listen to?:
Some

16. Do your parents approve of your beliefs?:
Bahaha, no.

17. What’s the last thing you mailed?:
Birthday cards

18. Do you know anyone who’s racist?:
Yeah

19. What about a homophobe?:
Yeah

21. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood?:
The guy that beats the living shit out of his girlfriend/wife.

24. What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone?:
No?

25. Do you know what RSVP stands for?:
It means tell me you’re coming to my event so I don’t have to play catch up when more people show than I originally thought.

26. How often do you shop at dollar stores?:
Occasionally

27. What screenname do you use to prank people with?:
n/a

28. What screenname did you use in 6th grade?:
Fairly positive it was something to do with my love of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or something equally angsty.

29. How long ago did you make your current screenname?:
Oh wow, this one I’ve had for like…. since 2004? so I was fifteen..

30. What “older” bands do you listen to?:
Quite a few

31. Do you like older or newer music better?:
both

32. Do you make your own clothes and/or add designs to them on your own?:
Negative

33. Who does the laundry in your house?:
Me, usually. Sometimes I can get Fancy to do it

34. What brand of eyeliner do you use?:
I don’t

35. Do you have a friend who tends to act pessimistic?:
Me?

36. What’s something you need to do?:
Vacuum, do laundry, tidy….

37. What do you use to exfoiliate?:
Clean and Clear

38. If you had a band, what would you name it?:
Something ridiculous and hipsterish I’m sure

39. When with a guy/girl you like, do you make the first move?:
Back in the day, never. I would now though.

40. Have you ever done “naughty things” in a movie theater?:
Nope, if I’m paying $10 for a ticket, I’m watching the damn movie

45. What’s the last song you listened to remind you of?:
I don’t remember what it was

47. Do you wear stuff with the Playboy logo on it?:
Negative, sir

48. How’s life treating you lately?:
Pretty good, actually.

49. What was the coolest thing to happen today?:
So far…? Uh…