We got to do the fun part of wedding planning tonight: food tasting! Here’s our menu:

Salad:
Spring mix with seasonal berries (since we’re getting hitched in Jan, it’ll probably be dried apricots, raisins, and cranberries), caramelized shallots, goat cheese, and a sherry vinaigrette.

Entrees:

Hanger steak (med. rare), with a mushroom demi glaze
Chicken with fontina cheese and spinach rolled inside
Salmon with a honey glaze
Portobella/pepper/eggplant/goat cheese stack thing
All with garlic mashed potatoes and malibu carrots

AND CAKE! Oh god cake. So. 3 tiered, the bottom is a smith island cake, which is basically a yellow came with a fudge filling with crushed up peanut butter cups, the second layer is a red velvet that’s fucking to die for, and the last tier that’s ours is the smith island again. SO good. SO FREAKING GOOD. I’m so pumped now, because omnomnomnom

Has a boy ever asked your parents for permission to date you?
-I don’t think I’d date anybody who would do that.

Do you often get stuck behind a tractor driving somewhere out where you live?
-No, unless you mean tractor trailer.

Have you ever hidden alcohol, had a parent find it, and DRINK it?
-No

Do your parents tell you that if someone starts a fight with you, you can finish it?
-I was never told that, but it was implied.

Where you ever in 4H club? If so, for what?
-Negative

Is there a band in your state that’s really big, but not big anywhere else?
-I’m sure

If you have siblings, was there ever a tradition your family had when you all turned a certain age?
-Nope

Have you ever stood right up against the stage at a concert?
-Yes

Have you ever forgotten to put on an oven mitt before you took something extremely hot out of the oven?
-I have several scars from that

Do you own one of those airwick things that automatically sprays every few minutes?
-Nope

If you are taking (or took) an elective foreign language in high school or college, what level did you make it to?
-2 years of spanish in high school that I don’t remember. I’d like to learn Arabic though

How many light bulbs are on in the room you are currently in?
-one

When was the last time you felt extremely out of place?
-All the time?

On Election Day, did you have school?
-No

Have you ever had your phone taken away at school before?
-no

Do you look better with or without glasses?
-I think without

What is your favorite type of pet bird?
-A dead kind

When was the last time you had a fruit flavored snack?
-Uhhhh, I ate real fruit earlier?

Do you speak with a slight stutter?
-no

Is your state a swing, republican, or democratic state?
-Dem

Does your state have any good sports teams?
-Well, we won the super bowl

Do you find yourself wearing more bright colors or neutral colors?
-About 50/50

Did you go fishing a lot when you were younger? Do you now?
-Not a lot, and no.

How do you flush the toilet in public?
-With mah feets

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
-Yeah, unless I’m in the backseat.

Do you have a crush on someone?
-I suppose

Name one thing you worry about running out of.
-Air/heart beats

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
-No

What is your favorite pizza topping?

-Spinach and mushrooms

Do you crack your knuckles?

-So much

What song do you hate the most?
-That suit and tie song by justin timberlake

Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?

-I still have cotton eyed joe stuck in my head

What are your super powers?

-I’m pretty good and half assing things and making people think I’m really good at something

Peppermint or spearmint?

-Wintergreen

Where are your car keys?

-On the kitchen counter

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?

-Wahtever

What’s your most annoying habit?

-I bite my nails

Where did you last go on vacation?

-I went home for Christmas, we’re going to the beach next weekend.

What is your best physical feature?

-My ass, probably

What CD is closest to you right now?

-Negative

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?

-Eggs, spinach, mushrooms

What superstition do you believe/practice?

-Nah

What color are your bed sheets?

-Green

Would you rather be a fish or a bird?

-Bird

Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?

-Yes, though only on bluetooth

What are your favorite sayings?

-I have so many

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?

-I dont

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?

-Forward

What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?

Pass.

What CD is in your stereo?

-I was listening to podcasts in my car…. it was either Dan Savage or Life on the Swingset last.

What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?

-No

How many kids do you plan on having?

-No

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

-If you’re cute, I’d probably kiss you

What do you do when no one is watching?

-Pick my nose?

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?

-Please let it be Jennifer Lawrence. Pleaseeeeeee

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?

-Neither. Some weird, odd ball way.

Coffee or Tea.

-Neither

Favorite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert?

-Anberlin

Have you ever been in love?

-Yup

Do you talk to yourself?

-All. The. Time.

• 1: Name: Lacey
• 2: Age: 24
• 3: 3 Fear: Puking, Failing, Dying
• 4: 3 things I love: Manatees, Pandas, new running shoes 
• 5: 4 turns on: That lip bitey thing, playing with my hair, light touch on thigh, neck kiss
• 6: 4 turns off: Long fingernails, dirty, gross breath, shoving my face towards your dick
• 7: My best friend: My boy!
• 8: Sexual orientation: Bi
• 9: My best first date: Eh.
• 10: How tall am I: 5’7
• 11: What do I miss: Missing you
• 12: What time were I born: In the evening
• 13: Favourite color: Purple
• 14: Do I have a crush: Not really
• 15: Favourite quote: “Most people are good and occasionally do something they knowis bad. Some people are bad and struggle every day to keep it under control. Others are corrupt to the core and don’t give a damn, as long as they don’t get caught. But evil is a completely different creature, Mac. Evil is bad that believes it’s good.”
• 16: Favourite place: Bed, or my couch.
• 17: Favourite food: The kind I Didn’t have to cook
• 18: Do I use sarcasm: Ha.
• 19: What am I listening to right now: Myself typing/food cooking
• 20: First thing I notice in new person: A lot of stuff. You don’t just notice one thing 
• 21: Shoe size: 9/9.5
• 22: Eye color: Green/blue
• 23: Hair color: Brown
• 24: Favourite style of clothing: I like yoga pants.
• 25: Ever done a prank call?: Yes
• 27: Meaning behind my URL: Whatever
• 28: Favourite movie: I really don’t have just one.
• 29: Favourite song: Again….
• 30: Favourite band: Sigh
• 31: How I feel right now: Tired, hungry, generally cranky
• 32: Someone I love: You
• 33: My current relationship status: Engaged
• 34: My relationship with my parents: Good?
• 35: Favourite holiday: Any I don’t have to go into work
• 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: No piercings, “believe” on my stomach
• 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I’m fine.
• 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Well, this is xanga, but.
• 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: Not to my knowledge
• 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: Rarely
• 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Negative, though I’m sure it’ll probably happen eventually
• 42: When did I last hold hands?: uh
• 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Depends on how sleepy I am, usually like 15 minutes though.
• 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: I think so
• 45: Where am I right now?: Office
• 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Probably Fancy
• 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Depends on mood
• 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Negative
• 49: Am I excited for anything?: The beach!
• 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Yes, several
• 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: I work with the public.
• 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: This morning
• 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I’d be okay with this.
• 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Probably
• 55: What is something I disliked about today?: I’m motherfucking hungry
• 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: A chef.
• 57: What do I think about most?: at the moment, food. Though food in general really
• 58: What’s my strangest talent?: I don’t really have one?
• 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Puking?
• 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind
• 61: What was the last lie I told?: Uh
• 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Online
• 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Ghosts yes, aliens no
• 64: Do I believe in magic?: In a young girls heart~
• 65: Do I believe in luck?: Yes
• 66: What’s the weather like right now?: Rainy
• 67: What was the last book I’ve read?: Eat to Live
• 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: Yes
• 69: Do I have any nicknames?: Lace, Panda, Laceface, killa
• 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: Uhhhhh
• 71: Do I spend money or save it?: Both
• 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: No
• 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?:Yes
• 74: Favourite animal?: Pandas, manatees
• 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: watching mike play a game. Or in the shower
• 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Bachman
• 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Do you believe in magic~
• 78: How can you win my heart?: Feed me
• 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: “Well, shit.”
• 80: What is my favorite word?: Fuck, probably. I use it enough
• 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: They’re all fitblrs
• 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Feeed meeeeee
• 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Probably
• 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Teleportation
• 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: I don’t really have any
• 86: What is my current desktop picture?: It’s just purple
• 87: Had sex?: Yes
• 88: Bought condoms?: No
• 89: Gotten pregnant?: No
• 90: Failed a class?: No
• 91: Kissed a boy?: Yes 
• 92: Kissed a girl?: Yes
• 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: No
• 94: Had job?: Sigh
• 95: Left the house without my wallet?: Yes
• 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: Yes
• 97: Had sex in public?: Not yet
• 98: Played on a sports team?: No
• 99: Smoked weed?: No
• 100: Did drugs?: No
• 101: Smoked cigarettes?: No
• 102: Drank alcohol?: Yes
• 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: No
• 104: Been overweight?: Yes
• 105: Been underweight?: No
• 106: Been to a wedding?: Y
• 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Y
• 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?:Y
• 109: Been outside my home country?:N
• 110: Gotten my heart broken?:N
• 111: Been to a professional sports game?:Y
• 112: Broken a bone?:N
• 113: Cut myself?:N
• 114: Been to prom?:Y
• 115: Been in airplane?:Y
• 116: Fly by helicopter?:N
• 117: What concerts have I been to?: too many
• 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?:Y
• 119: Learned another language?:N
• 120: Wore make up?:Y
• 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?:N
• 122: Had oral sex?:Y
• 123: Dyed my hair?:Y
• 124: Voted in a presidential election? Y
• 125: Rode in an ambulance? N
• 126: Had a surgery? Y
• 127: Met someone famous? Y
• 128: Stalked someone on a social network? N
• 129: Peed outside? Y
• 130: Been fishing? Y
• 131: Helped with charity?  Y
• 132: Been rejected by a crush? Y
• 133: Broken a mirror? Y
• 134: What do I want for birthday? Food
• 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? None
• 136: Was I named after anyone? I was named after a Stevie Nicks Song
• 137: Do I like my handwriting? N
• 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Sigh
• 139: Favourite Tv Show? N
• 140: Where do I want to live when older? A house
• 141: Play any musical instrument? Used to play trumpet
• 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Mashed Potatoes
• 143: Favourite pizza toping? spinach and mushrooms
• 144: Am I afraid of the dark? I’m afraid of whats IN the dark
• 145: Am I afraid of heights? N
• 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? N
• 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Y
• 148: What I’m really bad at: Everything

You know that pair of jeans that sit in your closet and mock you? The ones that when you take them out and look at them, you just have a moment of “when the fuck was I EVER this size?” The ones that you really can’t get above your thighs anymore? I have several pairs of those. I remember they used to be my favorite jeans because they were so god damn comfortable. They’re size 13′s, from Charlotte Russe, so lord only knows what size that equates to in real-world sizing, because I know it’s juniors. I haven’t been able to wear these things in years. Honestly, I can’t remember when I actually could.. maybe right after high school, because I know I wore them to death. The bottoms are fringy where I stepped on them so much.

But anyway, they’ve been sitting there. Mocking me. I tried them on several months ago and it was probably the most pathetic thing my bedroom has ever witnessed. I tried the jumpy thing. I tried laying on the bed. I honestly tried everything except lubing myself up. No go. Could not get these fuckers above my thighs. Could barely get my legs in them.

Came home from the gym today, and after my shower I decided to try them again, fully expecting the same result. Fully expecting to feel like shit afterwards for being a fatass and gaining weight.

I got those mother fuckers ON. Technically. There was a lot of jumping. I had to lay on the bed to get them buttoned/zipped. And, let’s be honest, they didn’t fit by any stretch of the imagination. My ass wasn’t covered, I had rolls I didn’t have before. But you know what? I got them on. I got them buttoned and zipped and they were in the vicinity of my waist (as much as they ever were, since they’re those ridiculous low riders that was popular several years back).

It wasn’t pretty, and it reminded me of a girl I went to HS with that never wore jeans that fit, but I got the mother fuckers on. New goal, ladies and gents! To be able to wear them in public. Without a huge baggy shirt to hide the fact that they don’t fit. Wear those fuckers out with a tight fitting tshirt and some mother fuckin’ flip flops and we’ll be in business.

Then I’ll actually take my ass to the store and buy me some big girl jeans that actually fit. But! Accomplishment sorta unlocked. New goal made. Let’s get this mother fucker done.

So I compared pictures of me in the same undie/bra combo that I wore in a shot in feb 2012, and while I see changes, it’s not nearly as much as it should be. It pisses me off, with myself, that in over a year I didn’t achieve more. All because I was lazy, or didn’t feel like cooking so got pizza instead, or some other bullshit. It’s funny how I can go from feeling so awesome and confident in the changes I’ve made and the progress I’ve made, and then one little thing can make me go back to hating and nitpicking and staring at pictures looking and praying and hoping for one less roll, one less dimple.

It’s fucking ridiculous, and needs to stop. And while logically I can sit here and tell myself that, I know it won’t change how I actually feel. I dropped two pounds this week, I’m down to 180.4, so fucking close to 170s… and then yesterday we go to a city carnival and I eat a corndog, a cupcake, and dippin dots. Yup. Because that’ll get you where you want to be, Lacey. I preach eating clean, only eating for the body you want….. then I do that shit. ugh. I was going to go running last night, but I was so sleepy from walking around and stuff that I didn’t bother. I haven’t worked out since thursday, and I’m back to feeling shitty.

BUt on the bright side, I’ve decided I want a tan this year. We’re going to the beach for Fancy’s birthday the end of this month, so I bought some sunless tanner to help me get a quick start. I’ve never used such products, so I’m kind of terrified. It’s by Neutrogena, and usually their stuff works, so we’ll see. At least it smells really nice… somewhat beachy, which I’m sure is what they were going for. So we’ll see how that works.

Does anybody know if having the sunless tans help to prevent burning? Obvi you still need to use sunscreen, but since you’re technically darker does it help? Or where it’s fake does the sun just laugh and say fuck you? Guess we’ll find out either way.

I really like the bathing suit I got, though. Fancy swears up and down that I look find in it, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can trust him. He promises he doesn’t just give me lip service, but I just can’t picture any sane male going “Oh, yes, you do look like a beached whale in that” you know?

I took these this morning, planning on taking them again when we get to the beach (May 24-28) to see if I progressed any. Thoughts? I really like the color. The top came with straps, and I imagine i’ll have to put those one… waves and all that.

Fancy makes me make funny faces when he takes pictures for me.

The bottoms fit everywhere fine except the sides. The material is like, this tabby type stuff that sinks into my hips a bit, so creates more rolls than I actually have… but if I went up a size, I think the butt would be too big.