May 5, 2013

• oh look, a real blog.

  So I compared pictures of me in the same undie/bra combo that I wore in a shot in feb 2012, and while I see changes, it’s not nearly as much as it should be. It pisses me off, with myself, that in over a year I didn’t achieve more. All because I was lazy, or didn’t feel like cooking so got pizza instead, or some other bullshit. It’s funny how I can go from feeling so awesome and confident in the changes I’ve made and the progress I’ve made, and then one little thing can make me go back to hating and nitpicking and staring at pictures looking and praying and hoping for one less roll, one less dimple.

  It’s fucking ridiculous, and needs to stop. And while logically I can sit here and tell myself that, I know it won’t change how I actually feel. I dropped two pounds this week, I’m down to 180.4, so fucking close to 170s… and then yesterday we go to a city carnival and I eat a corndog, a cupcake, and dippin dots. Yup. Because that’ll get you where you want to be, Lacey. I preach eating clean, only eating for the body you want….. then I do that shit. ugh. I was going to go running last night, but I was so sleepy from walking around and stuff that I didn’t bother. I haven’t worked out since thursday, and I’m back to feeling shitty.

  BUt on the bright side, I’ve decided I want a tan this year. We’re going to the beach for Fancy’s birthday the end of this month, so I bought some sunless tanner to help me get a quick start. I’ve never used such products, so I’m kind of terrified. It’s by Neutrogena, and usually their stuff works, so we’ll see. At least it smells really nice… somewhat beachy, which I’m sure is what they were going for. So we’ll see how that works.

  Does anybody know if having the sunless tans help to prevent burning? Obvi you still need to use sunscreen, but since you’re technically darker does it help? Or where it’s fake does the sun just laugh and say fuck you? Guess we’ll find out either way.

  I really like the bathing suit I got, though. Fancy swears up and down that I look find in it, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can trust him. He promises he doesn’t just give me lip service, but I just can’t picture any sane male going “Oh, yes, you do look like a beached whale in that” you know?

  I took these this morning, planning on taking them again when we get to the beach (May 24-28) to see if I progressed any. Thoughts? I really like the color. The top came with straps, and I imagine i’ll have to put those one… waves and all that.

  

  Fancy makes me make funny faces when he takes pictures for me.

  

  The bottoms fit everywhere fine except the sides. The material is like, this tabby type stuff that sinks into my hips a bit, so creates more rolls than I actually have… but if I went up a size, I think the butt would be too big.

  • 12:21 pm
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