Top song of 1989:

Look Away - Chicago

Pretty sure I've heard this song at least once. Can't say I've ever been a Chicago groupie though.

2005, 16:

It's Dontcha by the Pussycat Dolls. I hate that song so much that I'm not even going to bother putting a video up.

2007, when I turned 18:

Irreplaceable - Beyonce

This song kind of annoys me? But at the same time I like it? I don't know. That's kind of how I feel about Beyonce in general though.

What were the top songs when you were born? When you turned 16? And 18?

 I got this idea from @ButYouSeeTheRealMe

Do you weigh less than 130 pounds? 
Nope

Do you straighten your hair everyday? 
Not really. I'm getting back into the habit though

What kind of car do you drive? 
2011 Ford Focus <3

Do you prefer purple or green grapes? 
Purple

What kind of posters are in your room?  

It's not in my bedroom, but it's in the office

What are you listening to right now? 
Morning noises

When's the last time you saw your dad? 
New years day

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? 
Yeah, it makes me itchy D:

Have you ever wanted to go to Australia? 
Kind of, but then I'm scared I'd die as soon as I got off the plane because EVERYTHING in Australia is dangerous and will kill you

Who were you with the last time you were drunk and where were you? 
Mm, like full on drunk drunk? New Years 2010? Tipsy? Sometime last year

What is one thing within the last year that if it had gone differently that you feel might have changed things now?

I have no idea what i'd be doing if I hadn't moved. It's been hard, but I think it's been the best decision I've ever made

What is something that you associate with summer? 
Laying in the screened in porch under a lazy ceiling fan watching it rotate and listening to the evening bugs

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
My birthday! Kind of, it'll be weird this year I think. Also if people come to our super bowl party that should be fun

What kind of mood are you in?
I kind of wish we had stayed at the party last night, because if so I would have been helping make breakfast with everybody, but BF wasn't feeling well (he's now got what I had ) so we left at like, 2 am so he could come home and sleep in bed. But otherwise, I just showered, I may clean some more in a bit, and I'm feeling good.

Also? I have waffles I'd made and frozen that I may have for breakfast. mmm

Are you eating/drinking anything right now?
Not at the moment

Do you text a lot?
I used to, but not so much anymore. I really don't do much with the computer/phone in general anymore. It's so funny how that switched. I used to be glued/addicted to the thing but now I'm rarely on it.

Do you like to sleep?
I do, but I don't like to sleep too much. I enjoy getting a good amount and waking up early.
 

 Do you own any chapter books?

no i cant red bery gud

How do you type your sad smileys? 
D: depending

What was the last thing you typed, other than surveys? 
Happy Birthday to a friend on facebook I think.

Do you pick at your nails when they're painted? 
Yeah

Been up since 330. Going to work today. This is going to suck.

Went to Patient First yesterday, apparently I've just got the cold that's been going around and the congestion has backed up into my ears. Yeah, that's pleasant.

Last night I went to sleep without telling BF goodnight. I was super sleepy and I figured since he'd literally been keeping me at arms length (I tried to hug him a couple times and he tensed up) that he wouldn't want me spreading my germs (that's what it comes down to) to him by being in the same room or something. He hasn't stayed with me in the same room unless I've specifically asked, and even then only as long as he has to be. So apparently he thought I was mad at him (more hurt than mad, there's a difference) and slept on the couch last night. So when I got up at 330, saw he wasn't in bed I figured he just couldn't sleep, but no, he was asleep on the couch. So that made me even more hurt/upset, so I took my pillow and blanket in there and laid on the floor for a bit until he woke up and told me to go back to bed. I told him only if he went too, and he reluctantly went with me.

Wasn't able to go back to sleep after that, so I got up and made a giant salad instead. Alarm will be going off in about 5 minutes, but at least I'm ahead of the game already this morning, right? Right?

Oh god I Hope today goes by fast.

-Drop 30ish pounds by the end of August.

Last time I weighed myself at mom's during christmas, I was up to 185. When BF and I first started dating in 2009, I weighed 155 give or take. I'd love to get back down to that weight (the smallest I've ever been) and maybe even drop a bit more, though I'd be perfectly okay with losing inches more than pounds.

-Meet new people/make friends

We have a habit of staying in our apartment and not venturing out much. This is ridiculous once you really consider it. We've been living here almost a year now and really haven't explored a whole lot. I've made a couple friends through work, but we both want friends that don't rely on talking about work to get through conversations. There's  anime and a sci-fi/fantasy clubs in the area that we're thinking about joining, since we're both into those things. Maybe that will help!

-Get out of my comfort zone, do something I'd typically not be comfortable doing because of my random/stupid insecurities.

I'm horrible about not wanting to do something that I've never done before. Or that I perceive as me being bad at, even if I've never done it, or something that will make me look "dumb". BF and his friends like going to raves/clubs/etc and dancing. "dancing" since it's ravey dancing and not like, club club dancing, but none the less... I went to ONE rave and was so out of my comfort zone (loud noises! flashy lights! tons of bass! people I don't know!) that I basically just sat in a corner and watched the whole night. I'd love to be able to get out of my head long enough to enjoy myself at something like this. It looks fun! There's glowsticks! And his friend that throws the parties/makes the playlists and I have about the same taste in music. Only difference is that his versions are faster/have a ton more bass.

-Stop biting my nails!

....this has been on my list since I was probably 10 years old, haha.

Finally home after the longest 7 hours ever.

Vacation was nice, and I'm very sad to see that tomorrow is my last day of it. Tuesday is going to be torture.

BF and I have made our New Years Resolutions. We knew it'd be to lose weight/get in shape (we're pros at saying that, not so much at pulling through on it) but after a long talk (we did have seven hours after all) about how our relationship is going and stuff, we've decided to amend it a bit.

I suppose TMI from here on out?

We've decided that we want to have a threesome (or a many-some. We think the idea of a game night/sex party sounds awesome) and after talking, we've decided we're secure enough/trust each other enough that we want to make it happen. We're both pretty game for anything, and talked about some ground rules we'd have, and we even agreed that the gender of the other person doesn't matter (though would like to have a dom female). It amazes me sometimes how our relationship has progressed, and I love the fact that I have a GGG boyfriend who wants to do/try everything and hold my hand all along the way.

But because we want this, we've decided that's our motivation for getting in shape. If we want to have fun sexy times with somebody else, we want to be in shape for it, and for each other. Fun new sexy time won't happen until we meet our goal.

Nothing lights a fire under somebody's ass quicker than danglin' funtimes in front of them.

I really wish I could upload picture straight from my phone to here, since that's where I'm postin from this week.

Christmas was pretty fantastic. I was tired as shit through most, but had a great time with everyone. Won a game of 31, played apples to apples, had some awesome blackberry wine, ate way too much food and got some great presents.

I picked out the presents from mom, so I knew what I was getting there but it didn't make me any less excited. She got us a lodge logic cast iron griddle and a ginsu chakra knife block. And fuzzy socks! But those were just for me haha. My nieces got us a popcorn tin since I was sad we hadn't got one this year, my one bro in law made us his awesome peanut butter fudge, I got 3 candles from various people, bf got a green bay packers shirt from mom, and my sister that drew our name got us the departed, the producers, the lion king, and gift cards to olive garden and the cheesecake factory.

So like I said, it was an awesome Christmas! Today I think we are going to lunch with some of my friends we haven't seen in forever, then later going bowling ands out to eat with the fam where my other friend is meeting us. We were all supposed to go out for drinks but I don't think that's going to happen now. Later in the week we are getting together with friends who couldn't make today.

Also? I wish I'd stop getting up so early

I always get up ridiculously early on Christmas, even though Santa stopped bringing me stuff to open in the morning years ago. I guess it's just habit by now, or it's the fact that I'm still a giant kid and there's some hope that I'll get up and there will e lots of presents with my name on them, or a pony in the yard or something haha.

I'm awake, laying on the couch so not to bug bf (even though I wouldn't be, I just swear you can tell when people are awake and it messss you up. That or it's just me), curled up in an old blanket (older than me and has seen many a Christmas) looking at the tree which I turned on for some light.

I still want to run into moms room (I didn't have to do that much when I was little, she was a co-sleeper so really I just rolled over and shook her haha) and jump on her bed and tell her it's Christmas!

Instead I'll let her sleep. Instead I'll lay on the couch and watch the cat play with toys and look at the tree. I'll watch the sky for a hint of snow ( I want some so bad) and maybe I'll put on a home movie or two.

For some reason I feel like crying. Maybe I just miss home too much.

Have a merry Christmas kids, I think mine is going to be an awesome one

With everything going on, I had completely forgotten about the pies I was supposed to make for tomorrow. Even with the uncertainty, you still need to get shit done, especially when your mom is nagging you about it. So with Mr. Bing Crosby singin' to us, my mom and I started cooking for tomorrow.

I make this pretty much every year, and pretty much every year they go away super quick, that's why I'm making two and why you'll see more than what I'm telling you to use. But it's delicious. The only issue I have with it is that it's hard to cut, but really? in the grand scheme that doesn't matter.

I don't remember where I got this recipe. Probably someplace online, so I'm sorry I can't give the credit where it's due. Just know that I'm not smart enough to come up with this on my own.

What you need:

1 oreo pie crust.
1 small/normal sized cool whip
2 reg/small boxes of jello chocolate pudding/pie filling
Walnuts or pecans, take your pick but I use walnuts
sweetened condensed milk
2 cups milk
3 squares semi sweet baking chocolate.

What to do:

Melt the chocolate however you like. Realize your mom uses an electric range. Be slightly annoyed.

Once it's melted, mix in with 1/4 cup condensed milk and mix together. Be quick about it, since it likes to seize up. Then pour it into the bottom of your oreo pie crust and spread out into an even layer. Or as even as you can get it. Sprinkle walnuts over this, the recipe calls for 1/2 cup, but I tend to use a tad bit more because I like it to coat the bottom evenly. And I like nuts.

Open both packs of jello and pour into a bowl, then pour in two cups of milk. Yes, I know 2 cups is for one pack, but you want it to be thick. it will be. Your wrist will hurt stirring it. Or maybe I just have weak wrists.... we'll go with that one. So then you want to put 1 1/2 cups of this over the walnuts and spread it around.

Open the tub of cool whip, and put half of it into the bowl with the rest of the pudding. Stir it together to create a mousse-like consistency. It's yummy, I give you permission to lick the spoon.Stir until blended, then pour this on top of the regular/thick pudding. Then use the last half of the cool whip to spread on top of all this. form pretty peaks with your spoon if you want. It makes me feel fancy to do it that way.

Keep it in the fridge, at least a couple hours to get all settled.

I had pictures, but xanga uploader is being a bitch. Or it's my mom's internet, could be either one, really.

Boyfriend is finally getting some sleep. He realized there's nothing he can do about it at this point and time, which he's right about. I thank everybody for the well wishes, and I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas, and if you don't celebrate that, have an awesome sunday of having the town all to yourself.

He just went to asleep an hour and a half ago. I've had maybe five hours of sleep. Dear god, I know I'm a shit person a lot of the time, but please let it all work out. This boy has been through hell mentally, don't add to it.

Merry Christmas eve, kids.

There are few times I'd like to dropkick my cats. In fact, it's almost never. I hate people who abuse animals.

But this morning I probably could have.

BF and I both woke up around six this morning. Probably because we were asleep by eight last night. We hear the cats fucking around with the tree, so I ask him to go look and see what they were doing.

Bent two branches and had a ton of ornaments on the floor. So you know, what does BF do? not fucking pick them up, that's what. He just leaves them on the floor. Yeah, thanks for that. So I go in there pissed (doesn't help that I'm still half asleep) and my tree is a mess, there's shit on the floor, and BF is being of no fucking help. So I decide I'm just going to take the damn thing down. No point in it being up if it's going to look horrible. So I start crying, go get the boxes and stuff and BF is all "what are you doing what are you doing" and I don't say anything, because I'm petty and because I hate talking while crying be cause it just sounds pathetic. So he grabs me around my legs and is all "You have it up because you like it, not because it's perfect." So I sit in front of the tree and cry some more while he decides I can fend for myself for a while.

So I start taking the ornaments off around the bottom that's completely fucked, and he comes back in and sits on the couch. I ask him to fix the branches, and he more or less does (for the mean time, I think they're fubar). So I start re-doing that sections. I ask him to grab something for one of my holes, then ask if there's any other place that needs something. He looks at the tree for a while, then nods. I ask where, he puts his fingers on my lips then gives me a kiss.

He's rarely smooth, but when he is he hits the nail on the head. So this just made me start crying again.

I'm weird, okay?

So he turns the lights on for me (the christmas lights on the tree that is) and we sit there and look at it for a while.

If the cats leave it alone for the next week, things will be perfect, but I doubt it.

Now? We're going to ihop. The Nutcracker is at 3pm and I think we're going to Fridays for dinner. I'm going to get stuff to make Buckeyes this weekend, which I'm excited about. Some of you may get some! Depends on how much it makes and how they turn out.